30 Day Music Challenge: Day Twenty Eight

Day 28: A Song That Makes You Feel Guilty

This is a very strange question – I presume it doesn’t refer to guilty pleasures as I’ve already done that one! So something that makes you physically feel guilty then – interesting concept… To be honest, I don’t feel guilty about a whole lot these days – it’s been a long time since I’ve done anything that caused serious guilt. I’m not saying I’m an angel, far from it, but I do tend to behave reasonably well these days – I had my fill of inappropriate relationships a long time back and I’ve never much been into petty theft, drug taking or anything vaguely illegal. The nearest I get to misbehaving is the odd occasion where I drink too much but even that’s increasingly rare these days – I’m getting very boring in my old age evidently!

So what does make me feel guilty? Well in a strange way – music does. I always feel like somewhat of a late starter when it comes to knowing about bands – I own a considerable amount of music and listen to even more but there is so much fabulous music out there that I’m just utterly ignorant about. It’s likely I’m being too harsh on myself here – no-one can ever hope to live long enough listen to all the music that’s ever been produced for a start! I can let myself off the hook for not knowing about a band but I’m also guilty of glibly saying that I love a band or an artist on the basis of one song and then never bothering to look into anything else they’ve done. Which sometimes is acceptable – they could only have one good song – but I do feel I should make more of an effort when it comes to knowing about music, if only to not sound like an idiot in the company of more musically geeky people.

She’s Lost Control by Joy Division is a fabulous, haunting, brilliant song but the first time I heard it was whilst watching Control – the film about Ian Curtis’ life – about two months ago. Even worse, I’d had the DVD sitting on my desk for two years gathering dust. I can now legitimately say I love Joy Division (having listened to their entire back catalogue out of shame) but this song does make me feel guilty for not having done so earlier.

“Confusion in her eyes that says it all.
She’s lost control.
And she’s clinging to the nearest passer by,
She’s lost control.
And she gave away the secrets of her past,
And said I’ve lost control again,
And a voice that told her when and where to act,
She said I’ve lost control again”

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